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Posted at 1/13/2012 12:01:00 PM
Friday the 13th.
I don't believe in any of this shenanigans, but decided to play along cause I don't know? Sometimes I wonder, why do I do things without a proper reason? it's like I'm always doing things without thinking. I mean, how is that a good trait in a future lawyer? No matter how hard I try, I always do things without thinking.
Few days ago, I was in depress mode. I've not spoken it out to anybody. Which has been a torturing thing to do. But then, it often strikes me, is it worth it? or does it work to talk about our problems? I mean, I'm a really stubborn girl, so people giving advises to me, is like a dog talking to a wall. Useless. Nevertheless, I can move ways, if somebody provoke me. Yea. I realize that, whenever somebody provoke me, I'll changed. Maybe I think they're being annoying. But it doesn't always work. Sometimes I'll find ways to hit them back. LOL
Going back to depression, it feels like I'm all alone. But the fact is, I have a lot of friends around. I'm able to laugh, joked with them. And even tho I feel depress, it stays in an egg shell inside me. Will talking do any good? I'm just wondering why am I so sensitive? Why do I make the stupidest decisions? And Why is it when I really have a problem with non-joking related content, I won't discuss it out? Isn't that much easier? Sometimes, I don't understand myself. And no it's not PMS. I'm too weird sometimes.
How's work this few days?
Oh work is fine. I'm getting the hang of every thing. Even dreamt I held my very own Lomo Camera. I'm mostly alone at times. Staring at awesome things happening inside the pc. Thinking is this what I want? I guess? It's better to work, then to be stuck home, unable to breathe the open air often, afterall, I'm being a pay a good pay. Why should I still be complaining? At least, I get to online. (and hear CNY songs being played) .
Life. I've nothing to blog about this few days. Have no where to be. I can't wait for CNY. My financial is currently hanging trying to survive at a high cliff. Yes, I'm nearly broke. I spend a lot. WHAT HAPPEN TO SAVING MONEY!
I miss school. Not the lessons. But the "hanging out with friends" only. It's weird to think, before this, I wanted to get out of school. I think it's just my stress brain thinking. Now I feel stressless, and moneyless. I don't even know that I need to apply some IPTA forms during high school. Which I didn't cause I didn't listened to the talks. And just the other day my friend asked me whether I got the forms and stuff, I answered no. Now, I'm wondering whether I can get into a decent college. I tried. I hope my result comes out pretty. :') I looked up the internet, on colleges I can go to further on with Law and the ones offered in Malaysia mostly has something to do with Islamic. If it's not an Islam College , it's a Law course offering to teach Islam Civilizations. What happen to love.....