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me
2015-10-23 03.40.14 1

Priscilla Tawie
Taken.14/10/94.Malaysian
Communication graduate
Reachable : ptawie@yahoo.com

Full time food addict.
Part time day dreamer.

I do :
- Food
- Travel
- Lifestyle
- Inspirational/Motivational quote


Disclaimer :
Not sure if anyone notice,
but my url is grammatically wrong.
Forgive me, I was young.


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  Frustrated
Posted at 1/17/2013 12:24:00 AM

Pressured.
Sometimes I don't know why do I lock myself up in my room, why do I always choose to avoid reality, why do I think too much & why do I feel like something bad is bound to happen at the end of the day. 

I feel rebellious, at the same time I know I'm not. I may go out a lot. But I don't abandon my studies. I don't smoke, neither do I take drugs. Fudge! I don't even sell myself. But it's like from how I am now, people tend to think that I'm not a good person. That one day I am going to end up, by the streets, cleaning up papers. 

Sometimes I wish, people would understand how they're treating me. & understand how I want to be treated. Cause the way they're doing it now, is pressuring me. And at one moment, it makes me feel like I need to escape fast or die. It's not that, the outside is influencing me. It's just because the inside doesn't make me feel. Like at home.

Life is vulnerable. & it gets even more vulnerable than before.
It's like, the longer you live, the more hurts you're prone to get. & you'll get even more fragile at the end of the day. Sometimes you don't know whether to stand up, acting strong or just sit still on the ground, not knowing what exactly to do. You're afraid of the things that might hurt you if you stand up . For you, all you wanna do is lie down in curl on the bed. Hoping for another new day to come and go. Hoping for a miracle to happen that someday, you won't have to get hurt anymore. Hoping that someday, you won't have to fall down just to get up again . Hoping that you are stronger than before, that nothing above you will ever bring you down anymore .

There are times where you tend to tell yourself that you are happy in order for you to feel happy . There are times where it actually works , and you actually believe that you are happy . Because all you ever wanna do is really be happy .

sometimes your daughter is trying her very best, but you just don't see it. sometimes a girl just wanna know that she's better than the rest, && that's why you chose her. sometimes your friend is quietly hurting inside, but she doesn't want you to know because she doesn't want you to be bothered.sometimes she smiles even tho she's hurting. & at times she turn back just to wipe her tears off.sometimes all I wanna do is lock myself inside the room, and be by myself. 

There are times when I choose fight back all the pain by ignoring reality, close my heart to everything & there are times when I choose to admit pains and openly receive with the thought of getting and being stronger in the future.

The same person who tells people to be happy & just endure life, is the same person who goes to sleep hoping for a better day when she wakes up . :) Lastly, all I can say is, I've tried my very best and if best isn't enough, then I'm sorry.


xx

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